A Snapshot of Jessica in Photos

I was raised in the southern Florida town of Pensacola, Florida along the beautiful Gulf Coast just situated near the Alabama state line. Known for its sugar white beaches, I spent much of my childhood playing outdoors in the Florida sunshine, despite the heat and humidity. I was a child of the 80's, grew up in the 90's and loved every minute of it.

My parents were immigrants from the Philippines, having met each other in Galveston, Texas; therefore, that made my two sisters and I first-generation Filipino Americans. My mother had a storied career as a Registered Nurse. My father proudly served in the US Navy before medically retiring and working civil service. 

My father's injuries and nearly yearlong stay in the hospital is what led him to the Lord when a Filipino pastor, who was working along a Southern Baptist Pastor visited him in the hospital. This was after my father recovered from almost dying and receiving his last rites. I was three years old at the time. Even then, the Lord knew what He was doing in my life as He does now.

One day when I was about 12 years old, I finally admitted to my parents that I had not slept in weeks. I was terrified. Anxious. Depressed. -- That for some reason, I would sleep walk and kill them. 

Why would a 12-year-old child even consider such a thing? You see, my family, well, our family time was watching the news magazine shows of the 1990's, such as Dateline NBC, Primetime Live and 2020. It's not surprising considering that:

1. My parents, for lack of a better word, religiously watched ABC Nightly News every night at 5:30pm.

2. I was named after Jessica Savitch, the Weekend Anchor for NBC Nightly News in the late 1970's and early 80's. 

And, on one of those shows, a man used it as his defense in his murder case, so somehow it became strangely embedded in my psyche.

My parents immediately took me to the hospital, and I was admitted in the adolescent behavioral health unit for about a week. I was diagnosed with Anxiety, Depression and OCD.

Living with mental illness wasn't necessarily difficult early on. But, sharing my diagnosis with others, including to even my closest friends was. It was a secret I held tightly to for years and years. It was the early 90's when I was diagnosed, and there was still much still stigma around the disease. 

Then came high school -- a period where I blossomed and came into my own in many ways. Being voted "Most Friendliest" Senior Year, involved in every an any club you could think of throughout and holding positions, such as President and Vice President in multiple organizations. Singing, acting and dancing my way through musical production after musical production. You'd think I would be one of the most secure girls in the world. But, I wasn't. I was far from it. The very overweight, chubby girl since childhood, so wished she could find a boyfriend like the other girls. She so desired, like her closest friends, to make it onto Homecoming Court and then Prom Court, but it never happened. Likely not because of my personality or accomplishments (or maybe so), but because of my looks, I fear. And, it was a dagger to the heart.

I really leaned into the Lord in High School. I mean, I had always felt close to Him growing up. But, now that the need to be loved, desired and wanted by another person so badly filled my days with heartache, I soon found that that longing could only truly be quelled by Jesus Christ, who died and paid it all for me. 

I remember the day so vividly. I was 16-years-old. My church youth group was on a retreat in town, and we had actually taken a recreation break at my High School. I was sitting down by myself on the bleachers as the sun began to sink down below the horizon, with such a warm, soothing, glow, I felt as though the Lord was surrounding me in His arms calling me to be His. I just stared... Gazed into the sun... Eyes going blurry... Unfocused... Until tears began to fall. And, that's when I made the single biggest decision of my life. I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. My life was never to be the same, again.

More to come...